16.6% of Americans aged 18+ are caregivers that provide assistance to loved ones with a chronic illness, terminal condition, or a disability. That’s 39.8 million caregivers! Yet being a caregiver isn’t easy and not everyone feels prepared enough to do it well.
Caregiving is unpredictable. It can be uneventful one day and completely overwhelming the next. It doesn’t come with a neat little manual. Yet, at the heart of all that care and comfort is pure love.
If you’ve stepped into the role of a caregiver, you know just how rewarding and fulfilling it can be as well as the challenges that accompany it. The good news? There are ways to ease the journey for both you and the person you’re caring for!
1. Listen First, Fix Later
You don’t have to address every challenge with a battle plan. Suggestions, solutions, and pep talks are going to be the crutches you attempt to lean on, but they’re seldom helpful. Your loved one doesn’t always want a solution. Sometimes they just want to feel heard. Listening without any judgments or interruptions is the best gift you can give them.
Pull up a chair, put your phone on airplane mode, and listen to their fears. Acknowledge and validate their anger and provide them the assurance that they’re not alone in this.
2. Respect Their Independence
You may forever see the world through the eyes of a caregiver. However, it is important to shift perspectives once in a while and put yourself in the shoes of the loved one you’re caring for. Illness and disabilities can make people feel like they have lost all control.
You may want to handle everything (their meals, appointments, medications, even their clothing choices) but it is important to remember that your loved one might enjoy doing some things on their own. Make an effort to ask them small questions like, “Do you want to pick out the color you want to wear today or do you want me to suggest something?”
3. Learn the Medical Jargon, But Don’t Get Lost In It
Advanced health conditions usually push you to learn a new language, the tongue of hospital visits, tests, and treatment plans. Remember that you are the eyes and ears of the patient. Don’t forget to advocate for them and ask any questions that they might want you to ask. Keep a notebook and jot down any worries or concerns the patient might have.
Don’t shy away from pestering their healthcare provider for answers and avoid getting lost in the medical world. Let the doctors cure them while you provide emotional support. Make your loved one feel like you are on their side!
Pro Tip: The best way to support your loved one is to make living with their condition just a tiny bit easier. Suppose your loved one relies on an ostomy bag and hates the odor during ostomy bag changes. You can go out of your way by investing in an ostomy pouch deodorant that helps make their experience a tad bit more positive!
4. Break Monotonous Routines and Don’t Forget the Joy
Once in a while, step outside the routine and enjoy life. Take a walk outside on a warm, sunny day with your loved one and create happy moments for them. Step away from the cold hospital rooms and the hard bed and allow them to feel the grass tickling their toes.
Find ways to keep the joy alive. It may come in the form of movie night every saturday or singing loudly if that’s something they like. Anything that brings them out of their shell.
5. Caring for the Caregiver
Asking for help isn’t something that should be frowned upon. Although it may feel selfish to reach out for emotional support and you might feel like doing it all yourself, remember that burning out will not help anyone in the long run.
Set aside some time for yourself to unwind or rely on support groups that allow you to talk with others who “get it.” Getting that much needed emotional validation can recharge you and make you feel prepared enough to tackle challenges head on.
Embrace the Messy Moments
Advanced conditions aren’t predictable. There will be days when you feel a deep sense of connection and times when you feel completely lost. Embrace it all. Keep your loved one at the forefront of it all and stay true to your goals. Show up everyday not just for them but also for yourself.
Remember that you’re only human and it is okay to lose patience sometimes or give in to difficult moments. What truly defines us is how we get back up again!
